xx.

Everyone is asking me whether I'm excited or not and I keep trying to find the right answer. I keep imagining I'm splashing through puddles through London alleys and planting my feet on Parisian soil, but it's all a little surreal to me. I keep trying to mentally pinch myself awake and then I realize I'm laying in bed just two weeks away from squirming in an uncomfortable airplane. I'm going to be flying over the atlantic listening to silent memories and wishes that will be filled with missing my life in the states so terribly. I'm so frightened to do this alone. I keep thinking this is all a dream somehow and maybe I'll manage to talk my way out of it. But then I open my eyes wider and I breathe in real slowly and I tell myself this is happening. Am I getting excited? Nervous would be the better answer.