Lately I've been doing a significant amount of thinking. Relationship thinking, life thinking. Everything thinking. See, my friends and I are very different from each other when it comes to relationships. One is constantly seeking out that person to teach her something, instead of the other way around. A hopeless romantic at its best. Another goes through boys faster than I can meet all of them. No one is ever quite good enough. The other stays fixing her relationship and is out to prove she's the type to be down for a dude through thick and thin. Now, me, on the other hand, is probably similar in aspects of it, but I'm not quite like them.
I've been learning and growing a lot lately. I've been managing to keep my head above water and that's where I like to be. I've been controlling most aspects of my life and I can honestly say that this is the first time in a long time that I've been completely happy with my life.
It's been a long debate in my head for a while now and I'm glad I finally came to the conclusion, I want to be in love with life, not in love with love. (Or the thought of it..) I vowed to make the best out of what my life is. I don't want to spend my lifetime searching for my "soul mate". I want to focus on LIFE in the general statement. And to me, you can't live if you're spending half your life searching for someone to "complete" it. I don't want to rely on a MAN to keep me happy and satisfied. I don't want to dedicate so much time into searching for someone. I'd rather put all that effort into something that can manifest into something magnificent in my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I wont be keeping an eye out. I will to say the least. I'm just tired of seeing these girls, women, chicks, w/e, spend so much time and put in so much effort to find that other person in their lives. I don't want my world to revolve around finding a man. Simple as that. I just want to live and love living and that's all I can ask for. Plus, I think that love should find you, not the other way around (;.
Christmas is definitely around the corner. Like, 10 ft. away, actually. I'm excited. We're having a little get-together on Christmas Eve. Mom invited everyone over to open presents with us and just hangout. I love being with my family for the holidays. I can't ever ask for anything more than what I've got. I definitely take them for granted sometimes. New Year's is also on it's way. Those of you who don't know, Frankie is coming out to spend NYE with me and the girls! (: Don't get the wrong idea, kids. We're strictly just friends. Plus, we have the same birthday. And I couldn't imagine dating someone exactly like me ;\ ... he's like my brother for goodness sakes!
In conclusion, I've typed way too much and I hate rambling. Until later.
xo
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