27.

In the midst of everything falling apart, you always get one of those opportunities to experience perfection.. that one moment you've been hoping for to take your breath away.. just to get a glimpse of how things could be... though we hope for more to eventually expand from that one moment of perfection, in most cases, they don't. And then we're left with what could've been and not what has been...

I want what is now. No more wishing or hoping something could be or should be. Not looking back, reminiscing on how things have been. I want what is now. Right now. This moment.. I want to embrace it and embed it in my memory.. keep it one of those fresh new ideas you'd love to write down.. but you don't know where to start because its almost too good to even explain it.. write it down on paper or even think about.. I want one of those memories..

Perhaps I've already had one.. the lasting kind of memory I can't stop thinking about.. that one perfect moment to last me a lifetime.. even if, in a hundred years, that moment of perfection doesn't mean anything but a mere smile.. I've had it.

Life isn't anything but this giant roller coaster we all ride on, even if half the time we don't want to be on it anymore.. and all we ask is for someone to stop it.. mid-air.. just so we could breathe in all the chaos.. try to grasp something that will guarantee our safety, but no one ever speaks up.. no one asks to stop.. to just breathe.

We make our way toward the end faster.. faster than any of us can soak in.. we're going too fast, but we're all to afraid to.. stop. We're all holding back, in hopes someone can just pause it for a moment..while we take the time to think about it what's going on.. when in turn no one can exactly pinpoint the situation.. all they know is that it's going to fast.. and it needed to stop..


I can't justify what point I'm trying to make.. I'm just writing.. my fingers moving in unison.. making short jagged movements while my mind goes ballistic.. eh if only for a moment I could take control of it.

I think too much. Way too much for me to ever figure anything out correctly. I always over analyze.. I always underestimate.. I always get the wrong impression. And that's what I've learned from only a few hours of conversing with him. He's great. Amazing beyond belief. He doesn't even believe it. I hardly can. I've grown within the few hours of exchanging millions of phrases and endless empty thoughts.. I was his concubine..

For just a moment.