37.

Random.

I feel like packing up my disgusting amount of possessions and leaving.
I want to hop in a car and drive to where ever you are.
I want to sit you down and tell you exactly how I feel.
How I need you to tell me I'm beautiful every morning.
How I need you to embrace my mind, body and soul.
But I don't have a car that can drive long enough to meet you.
And just because I need you, doesn't mean you need me.
I want to make endless memories with you over a long period of time.
Love you unconditionally.
Laugh at your corny jokes.
I want you to confide in me.
Run to me whenever things get hard.
Call me whenever you feel like giving up.
I want to spend late nights on the phone with you laughing about things that wont matter tomorrow.
I want to wake up with my face so sore from smiling all night.

I just want you to be comfortable with me.
Forget about how you are and what you're used to.
I know what you're capable of.
This isn't between me, you and everyone else.
Its just us.

You're my favorite part of the day.


---


With intentions of trying to reach deep inside myself and pull out my creative juices, I fumble with words that can't even make complete sentences.

I know what I have to do to achieve happiness, and I'm selling myself short because I look to you to give me what I need.
Instead, I need to take that up with me and I.
I suppose that's why we're not taking it any further.
We've both got a lot of things to settle between us.
I'm in dire need of growing up and accomplishing what I want.
Its my choice to make it happen or not.
I need to break bad habits and make new ones.
I'll make everything better.


---


Sometimes apologies and guilt trips aren't enough.
I don't need you to tell me you're sorry for what's happened in the past, just to try to make it better.
If I'm still talking to you, I've already forgiven you.
You don't have anything to prove to me. You've only got to gain back the trust you lost.
That's not even easy anyways.
Good luck.


---


Its weird for you to all the sudden have all these random feelings for me.
I'm not used to you calling me beautiful and giving me compliments.
I guess you're seeing something in me that you've never noticed before.
But I don't want you looking to me for comfort.
Work things out with the person you love before you try to move on.


---


I'm sleepy.
This is enough rambling.