sixtynine.

I read this somewhere:


If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior, allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle, if you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. BUT never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

Never let a man define who you are.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.


Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. And don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.



Keep him in your radar but get to know others.


.. and that's the story of my life as of now.

Speaking of, I freaked out on him last night. Well, not really "freaked" but basically. He was trying to be nice and let me know what was going on and he was saying goodnight and things and I didn't feel like telling him that I loved him. That's the point that it has gotten to. I don't even want to say it to him to later get thrown back in my face since "we say it too much". I mean, do you blame me? I guess we'll talk "today" cause that's what he said was going down. But, nothing like that ever happens so I wont hold my breath. He wants what he wants when he wants it. But when I want what I want when I want it, I'm trying to change him. Mmm, okay? I'm so sure that makes it okay to be a jerk 80% of the time? Right.

OH, but I'm the asshole?? Alright.

I love him, I do. But I'm tired of compromising my life and rearranging things to make communication easier on us so the outcome of this situation isn't so negative.

Until you show me you can actually make an effort to keep me around, I'll be around. As of now, I haven't received anything to let me know that you still care about me. What, one phone call within the last three weeks? "I just wanted to call to tell you that I'm alive and shit, so you don't have to worry."

If I don't have to anymore, I wont. So I'm not.


In other news, end of the term is tomorrow. >.< Tour is next Tuesday. I'll be gone for a week but I'll try to post updates from my iTouch or something. I'll figure it out. Um, Lewis wrote me something nice on his myspace yesterday. He's a butthead. And uh LOL @ what Marc told me yesterday. I GUESS. Whatev though, Marc. You know what it is, I'm not even worried about it. You know that shit doesn't even affect me. We ain't changing for NOBODY.

I guess I should just.. blah?? Do nothing for another 20 minutes. Even though I should be doing SOMETHING. I'll do something during lunch cause I'm a nerd.

Its raining today. I'm sure its because I made fun of Marc because it was raining over there.. but I digress. Its freezing too. I'm wearing jeans for the second time this year. Everyone freaks out and it kills me. >.< Its not that big of a deal! Whatever. I've only worn sweats once. And that's because it matched my Juicy Couture shirt. lol OHP!

Dang it. I miss you.

Oh! and, I took comments out because people who DO read my blog, don't comment. So, why keep it around if its not happening? If you've got something to say, you mostly know how to contact me.

BYE!